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Part 2
OFFICIAL SCRIPT By: Brad Shoemaker and Nick DePalma PART 2: Cut back to the present day. The location is Area 51, located in the middle of the Nevada desert. An Osprey (those planes with rotating propellers) lowers and hovers about 8 feet from the ground. General Thaddeus Payne jumps out, dressed up in normal general garb (He looks just like the general from "Avatar"), with two older soldiers. Payne takes off his sunglasses. PAYNE: What do we got here? SOLDIER: We finally captured him, sir. Payne nods and steps into the huge base. High tech equipment everywhere, and a massive room containing a large concrete cube (25 ft x 25 ft x 25 ft). Payne walks up to a tiny viewing rectangle in the cube. PAYNE: Good work, gentlemen. He pushes a button, and bright lights turn on in the cube. There's a person inside, but they're not shown. Payne lights up a cigarette and puffs it. PAYNE: You've been a thorn in my side for far too long. VOICE IN CUBE (muffled): Well at least I'm not gay. PAYNE: Shut up, that was ONE time. You know boot camp doesn't count... Voice in cube laughs. VOICE IN CUBE (to one of the guards): Where did he touch you? PAYNE: Enough! There's no escape now, you fool. VOICE IN CUBE: That's what you think. The cube starts to rattle. Payne's eyes widen. The rattling stops. VOICE IN CUBE: You made one mistake, Payne... you brought me here. The huge cube suddenly explodes, and McGregor is inside. Chunks of the cube hit the personnel, leaving only Payne and McGregor standing. McGregor grabs 2 assault rifles from the floor and starts firing them in a horizontal scissor pattern, one in each arm. It slices Payne's cigarette in half. PAYNE: You crossed the line. He grapples up to a high balcony, where a soldier is standing. PAYNE: I'm gonna be needing that, Corporal. He forcibly takes the soldier's gun, and kicks him over the edge. McGregor starts running, with Payne shooting after him. Obviously he misses. McGregor goes to the rope that is holding the huge door down. He stands on the counterweight and shoots the rope. He then flies upward on the counterweight as the door opens. McGregor jumps up onto the catwalk and fistfights with Payne awesomely. During the fight, they talk. PAYNE: Why do even try, McGregor? I'm always one step ahead of you. MCGREGOR: It should be ME who's the general. YOU STOLE WHAT'S MINE! Flashback to 1997 McGregor is about to be appointed General by President Clinton. McGregor's military vest is not visible under all of the medals he has. As Clinton is about to hand McGregor his last medal, solidifying his generalship, Payne comes up to Clinton and whispers in his ear. PAYNE: I've got a little somethin' to help you "make up your mind". He hands Clinton a crisp $20 bill. CLINTON: Deal! Oh, look at that! Monica, get your dancing shoes, we're hitting the town tonight! Congratulations, "General" Payne. McGregor looks on and clenches fists angrily. This transitions back to the present day, where he is still clenching his fists angrily. The fistfight continues. McGregor gets knocked off the catwalk and lands on a lower support beam. He's hanging on the edge, but it's slippery. Payne uses this time to escape. He grapples the ceiling, pulls himself up, and goes feet first to kick through the ceiling. He lands on the roof dramatically. His Osprey comes up to him and lowers its ladder. PAYNE: Looks like... I came out on top. He puts on his sunglasses jumps onto the ladder. Cut back to McGregor, hanging on the pipe. He slips and falls, hitting things as he falls down. He is groggy on the floor, grunts. Something catches McGregor's eyes that makes him smile. McGregor shoots out of the hole in the ceiling in a futuristic jetpack with two mounted miniguns on each shoulder. Payne looks on from the ladder. PAYNE: You'll never catch me! Wait, who's flying this thing? The Osprey lowers and then crashes in a big explosion. Before it crashes, Payne jumps into another Osprey. PAYNE: Good thing I always have a backup! He sits in the cockpit and flies off. McGregor gives chase. Cue awesome dogfights amidst the mountains and arches of Utah. They do flips and it's really awesome. Imagine your favorite war movie's favorite dogfight times 10,000,004. They fly through an urban area, and send wind flying throughout the city, all epic and such. A man, his wife, and 8 children step out. BRIGHAM MORMICUS JOHNSON: Get the oats! They run back in. McGregor and Payne make their way into New Mexico, still fighting. They are in the middle of the hot air balloon festival. Hilarity ensues. All of the hot air balloons get shot down. One bullet strikes Balloonicus Johnson's balloon. BALLOONICUS JOHNSON: Hey Bob, you notice anything there? BOB: Nope................................................wait The balloon abruptly falls to the ground, Looney Tunes style. More awesome chase. MCGREGOR: You can't out-fly me forever, Payne. PAYNE: Ah, but I can out-fuel you. McGregor notices that his jetpack is out of fuel. MCGREGOR: Well, shit. He holds up a sign, like Wile E. Coyote, saying "SHIT" He falls.